A Willingness To Be Disturbed
In a recent Leadership Notes podcast, our guest, Eric Haug, brought up a concept he calls “a willingness to be disturbed.” Since hearing it, I’ve felt a bit haunted by the phrase. I’m growing in my awareness that, more than I like to admit, I put a significant amount of thought and energy into avoiding discomfort, maintaining personal equilibrium, and keeping relational tensions at a minimum so that I can stay focused on my own goals. Most of the time, I do all this without realizing it. Why? Because, in my heart of hearts, I believe discomfort is bad, I believe my character is mature enough, and I believe MY goals are the same as God’s goals for me. Therefore, anything that disturbs my life, relationships, or efforts needs to be defended against, removed, or ignored.
I don’t think I’m the only leader who struggles with this way of thinking. However, if it goes unchallenged, we will end up avoiding some of the very things that God wants to use for our growth and deepening trust in Him. If we live in self-protection against what might disturb us, our character and our faith will be significantly stunted.
James 1:2-5 says, “Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”
For God, anything that disturbs my world has the potential to shape my character, grow my maturity, and transform my mind and heart to more deeply align with the Father. In other words, I need to be more willing to be disturbed.
Here are 5 ways I'm learning to become more willing to be disturbed.
Willing to let frustration drive me to see myself honestly - When I’m frustrated, I usually see the source of my frustration as the enemy, as something needing to be dealt with and eradicated. But frustration is an opportunity to look inward and ask myself, “What’s REALLY frustrating me?” More often than not, frustration reveals a component of selfish ambition; someone or something getting in the way of my goals and expectations which leads to impatience. I tend to give myself a “pass” when I get irritated, but 1 Corinthians 13:5 says being irritated is a lack of love. People and circumstances that frustrate and irritate me act as mirrors. They help me to see myself honestly, showing me where I lack maturity, patience, and love. They reveal my need for God’s power to change me.
Willing to let conflict drive me to greater relational courage - When it comes to conflict, I tend to operate with some very faulty assumptions.
● Assumption #1 - Most of the conflict I face is happening because of someone else’s issues.
● Assumption #2 - If I’m experiencing less conflict that must mean I’m doing a better job following Jesus.
● Assumption #3 - The presence of conflict is a distraction from my ability to pursue God’s purposes in my life.
Because I believe these lies, I tend to deal with conflict by avoiding, bottling, or manipulating. The reality is that conflict is one of the primary ways God offers a pathway to growth, both for me and for the person on the other side of it. While conflict can be destructive and I certainly can’t control the way others respond, it always presents me with a choice. I can view conflict as an impediment to my life and relationships, or I can see it as an opportunity to move closer to Jesus as I grow in relational courage. Growing in relational courage means developing a greater willingness to hear and say difficult things in order to move people closer to Jesus. Not only that, but conflict, above almost anything else, exposes areas where I need to grow in practicing forgiveness. Practicing forgiveness is one of the primary ways in the Christian life that I align myself with the heart and behavior of God, grow in my trust in God, and grow in self-sacrificial love. These activities are not for the faint of heart and don’t happen passively or automatically. They take faith and proactive movement toward others.
Willing to let pain drive me to prayer - Sometimes I believe the lie that pain keeps me from experiencing the life God wants for me. While God does not author pain, He certainly uses it for His purposes. Years of ministry have exposed a noticeable pattern concerning people who experience significant suffering: they develop a deeper dependence on God. Those people have grown, more than anyone else I’ve known, in supernatural faith and patience. How? Their pain drove them to prayer and deeper intimacy with God. It’s all too easy to miss God’s consistent invitations into intimacy and fellowship because I find myself too wrapped up in my own goals and desires. Pain shakes us up and causes us to look up. And we need Jesus more than we need a comfortable life.
Willing to let change redirect me to live for better things - I have found that I welcome change that I initiate, but resist it when it is imposed upon me. When I am confronted with unexpected changes I did not choose, my first reaction is to figure out how to circumvent or stop them so that I can maintain momentum toward my previously set goals and expectations. When I do this, I’m really saying, ”I’m not open to God challenging my goals and expectations.” Unexpected change is one of God’s primary tools to re-orient and redirect my goals and expectations to better align with His higher purposes for my character and for my life. For example, coming out of college, I had a deep desire to be in vocational ministry. However, after marrying my beautiful bride and realizing my pro bono student ministry position wouldn’t put food on the table, I found myself at an entry-level position in a clinical research company. God used that unexpected change in direction to untangle some deeply rooted idols in my heart. God wanted to teach me that I could live faithfully before Him no matter what my occupation was and that my job title wasn’t a measure of my value. I needed that change of direction.
Willing to let God’s Word unsettle me - I have an assumption that the better I understand something, the less discomfort it will create. When it comes to God’s Word, this is an extremely faulty assumption. During a sabbatical, I spent daily time reading the Sermon on the Mount for six weeks straight. Forty-two days reading the same three chapters of the Bible. At first, I was so excited to grow in a deeper understanding of Jesus’ teaching so that I could easily implement its principles in my life. But as I read it and reread it, the more unsettled I became. The words of Jesus created more questions I couldn’t answer and more tensions I couldn’t quickly resolve. I became more uncomfortable as the Bible challenged me in areas of relationship, trust, money, spiritual disciplines, and personal obedience. What initially seemed like straightforward teaching drove me to deeper and deeper questions about the text and about how to live it out. What I learned from this is that being emotionally or intellectually unsettled by God’s Word pushes me to ask more important questions about who God is and how I’m responding to Him. Dealing with the challenges and complexity of God’s Word has grown my faith, not weakened it. When God’s Word becomes confusing or challenging, it allows for the necessary growth for my mind, my heart, and my assumptions about God and myself.
However, let’s not forget that God doesn’t needlessly or lightly allow discomfort in our lives. In the same way that he allows us to be disturbed, he also promises comfort and leads us to peace.
Where might God be inviting you into a deeper willingness to be disturbed? Is he, perhaps, also inviting you to find a deeper comfort and peace in relationship with Him in the midst of your uncomfortable relationships and circumstances?
Conor O'Hearn
Senior Pastor
North Way Bible Church