The Shaping Power of Technology

The Forming Power of Technology

One of my favorite rides at Disney World is the Carousel of Progress. If you haven’t been on the ride (and many probably haven’t) it’s a rotating theater show that follows an American family through different decades of the 20th century, showing how technology and daily life have changed from the early 1900s through more modern times. I enjoy the ride, not only because of the nostalgic feel, but because of its irony. It taps into an unspoken belief we carry that, simply put, technology makes things better.  

While technology has certainly afforded us tremendous efficiencies, entertainment, and improved methods of  communicating and connecting, it has also created some unforeseen formative realities. To say it differently, technology is shaping us in ways we didn’t plan. If we don’t stop to become more aware of its impact, we run the risk of becoming spiritually malformed and relationally isolated. Here are three ways our relationship with technology, if left unaddressed, can keep us from the transformed life and character that God offers to each of us. Before I unpack this, let me add that these are real issues in which I’ve needed to grow in awareness and intentionality in my own life, and still do. I’m with you. 

Attention Spans - Let’s just start at the ground level. What we give our attention to forms our minds and our hearts. Psalm 1 is a beautiful picture of how someone will grow in their love for God and His ways. It paints a picture of a tree slowly sending its roots down near the water so that it can maintain its nourishment during the dry or difficult seasons. I love this image because it captures a slow process of growth through repeated and prolonged focus on God’s Word. In fact, much of spiritual growth takes place through intentional quiet, reflective, and prayerful practices. Technology tends, not to help with this, but to pull us in the other direction. Our minds have become addicted to the dopamine hit of our phones, our gaming, and our constant hunt for entertainment. A recent article from the National Law Review stated that the average American checks their phone 186 times a day. National Geographic stated that our average attention span has shrunk to 40 seconds! Sorry, what was I saying? We are being shaped by technology to be less inclined to spend time quietly in the Word, in prayer, or in simple conversation with the people in our own homes. 

Algorithms - Not only are we being shaped by time spent in front of a screen, but we live under the illusion that we are the sole decision makers in the content we are consuming. The book  “Truth Over Tribe” explains it this way:

“Think of the most politically extreme person you know. … Do they send you articles that make you scratch your head and wonder, Where do they find this stuff? Do they say things about the other side that make you think, That seems a little extreme? Do you discover that they seem alarmingly unaware of alternative perspectives or of events that contradict their political narratives? If so, chances are it started on social media. And this isn’t by accident; it’s by design. In a 2018 presentation by Facebook, one slide read, “Our algorithms exploit the human brain’s attraction to divisiveness … in an effort to gain user attention and increase time on the platform.”

It turns out, anger keeps people engaged. I don’t bring up that quote to make a political point, but instead to point out that what you’re “finding” online might actually be “finding you” in order to keep you paying attention. It’s called the “attention economy”. Our attention is being bought and sold by businesses and corporations who want us to buy their products. And yes, your favorite AI platform has a bent because it’s been coded in a way that adheres to someone else’s set of values and objectives. I’m not saying that the internet or social media are inherently evil, but that we should not engage with them as though they are inherently good. We need to be aware of the shaping power these things have in our minds and lives. If you want to take a deeper dive into this topic, I suggest you watch The Social Dilemma. If you have kids who have phones and access to social media, I strongly advise you to watch it, maybe with them. 

Images - Simply put, technology has made lust and sexual immorality easier than ever to access and easier than ever to hide. The average child has viewed pornography by age 12 (Common Sense Media) and of those who have viewed pornography, 59% view it once a week or more. And this isn’t just an issue for our kids. It’s an issue for adults. Christian adults. Pornography is a $15 Billion dollar industry and an epidemic, shaping not only the character, but the relationships of men and women. The great lie is that viewing pornography can be done in a way that doesn’t have any real impact. The opposite is the case. Every time someone views pornography it causes a malformation in the mind and heart, teaching us that people can be treated as objects for our pleasure instead of God’s image-bearers who should be treated with dignity and honor. The advances in AI have created the opportunity for an even more vivid falsehood of relationship and intimacy, the outcome of which is even more destructive to those who use it in that manner. This is being acknowledged, not by distinctly Christian thinkers, but also in the secular arenas.  If these realities stay in the dark, unspoken and hidden, they will continue to quietly shape our character, our minds, and the next generation. The answer is to bring these issues and our personal struggles out of the dark and into the light, confessing and then working through them in the context of loving community. Parents, I highly suggest doing 4 things to help your kids have healthy habits surrounding their engagement with technology. 

1. Find ways to monitor your child’s phone and computer use at an age appropriate level. If you don’t know where to start check out Bark, a software that helps you see how your child is using their phone. 

2. Have your kids keep their phones in a designated location, other than their room, before bedtime, or consider using something like the Brick or apple’s screen time to shut down internet use after a certain time. 

3. I know it’s awkward, but talk to them about the dangers and pitfalls of pornography and check in to see how it’s going. Focus on openness and awareness, not shame, and start the conversation early. 

4. Read The Tech-wise Family. It is an excellent resource that has helped my wife, Candy, and me navigate setting boundaries around technology for ourselves and our kids. 

Yes, technology has a shaping effect, but you get to choose how it will shape you. Which of these areas needs attention in your life? What new habits do you need to form? Perhaps you could start by setting some ”screen off” times for you or your family? Maybe there is a trusted friend you need to have a conversation with about a struggle you’re facing? Maybe it’s time for a social media break? If you want to experience the benefits of technology while avoiding its negative forming effects, you’re going to have to change the way you engage with it. 

Conor O’Hearn
Senior Pastor
North Way Bible Church

Shepherding People Who Are Changing Churches

As I reflect on this last year of life and ministry, one thing that stands out pretty starkly is that there have been quite a few people who have joined our church family, and also some who have left. This always feels like an awkward thing to talk about, but I often don’t give it enough attention in my mind and heart.

Since I became a follower of Jesus, I’ve been a part of four local churches. This means I’ve left a church three times. Two of those were due to geographic relocation, but one was for other reasons. If you’ve been a Christian long, odds are you’ve left a church to go to another church.

The reality is that people switch churches for all kinds of reasons (not all of them bad). We’ve welcomed people to our church from nearby congregations, and we’ve experienced saying goodbye to church members as they start attending the church down the street. I’ve experienced it as a lay leader, as a staff member, and yes, as a senior pastor.

Since moving to Leander, most of the time I’m experiencing a mixture of people coming and going at the same time. Part of what creates this dynamic in our city, I think, is that we’re in a rapidly growing area, which means that there is a higher percentage of new people trying to find the right church family. The other reality is that we happen to have a number of really great churches around us (I meet regularly with many of our area pastors and appreciate them deeply).

But whether you’re an elder, staff member, group shepherd, or ministry leader, it’s not easy to know how to lead through (or even know how to respond to) someone who tells you they’re here from the church next door, or when someone you know and love tells you they’re leaving the church. So how do we shepherd people well who are changing churches, coming or going? Here are some learnings I’ve had over the years.

If They Are Coming:

• Don’t assume they’re a believer - We know this, but not even everyone who already attends North Way is a follower of Jesus. So let’s not assume that just because someone has come from another church, they are a believer. Ask questions about how they came to faith or share your story with them to possibly prompt some mutual sharing.

• Ask what brought them here, from there - This isn’t a rude question, but one asked to care for their heart. For example, we once had someone join our church (and my community group) from another church because they didn’t want to be around someone in their previous church who had offended them. Gently, my wife and I encouraged this person to work through some steps of forgiveness. This person was not willing to take those steps, but giving the gentle challenge is what it looked like to love this person well. If someone is unwilling to open up about it, don’t force it. They may be trying to honor the place they came from, which is biblical. You should seek to do the same, even if they share something negative.

• Help them discern if North Way is where God wants them - Every local church has a unique culture and unique ways that it expresses its theological convictions. Invite new people to participate in “Explore North Way” so they can learn what the church is about as quickly as possible and make an educated decision about whether or not this is the right church for them.  

• Encourage full engagement - Whether someone is coming or going, if they are already a believer, I always encourage the same thing: fully engage in the church family God has placed you in. Be in community, serve the body, be on mission. Once someone is sure our church is where God wants them, encourage these next steps. They are vital to someone’s spiritual vitality and maturity.

If They Are Going:

• Ask and listen - If someone tells you they’re leaving, don’t be afraid to ask them what led to their decision, and then listen carefully to what they have to say. When I have done this, I’m not looking to defend something about the church. In fact, there might be something that needs to come to light or be passed up the leadership chain for the good of the church. As I said, not all reasons for leaving are bad. Sometimes someone’s personal preferences or theological convictions shift, and they will be a better fit in another local body. I am not suggesting that we should church-hop anytime we don’t prefer a song or a sermon. I don’t think that is healthy. However, if you sense the person has prayerfully and carefully considered the decision, often the best thing is to bless them as they go. If someone shares something that is concerning to you, please call a pastor or elder.

• Encourage restorative communication - It is possible to leave for a good reason, but in a bad way. So how does a person leave a church well? Below are a list of things that, if you have a voice in the person’s life, you can encourage them to do:

  • Have a conversation with a church leader so they know why they’re leaving.

  • If at all possible, complete their ministry responsibilities or help find a replacement.

  • Focus on how God used the church community to grow their faith instead of why they’re leaving.

  • If they’re offended, forgive and seek reconciliation before they go.

• Discourage gossip - When people are changing churches, there is plenty of room for gossip to creep in, even among those who are sticking around. If you’re hearing someone say things that seem “passed along”, challenge them to have a conversation with a leader or pastor to seek clarity. If they don’t want to do that, don’t “pass along” what you’ve heard.

• Express thanks - If the person leaving has served with you, thank them for serving and be specific about how you’ve seen God use them. Even if they are not leaving well, I think expressing thanks is usually the best idea.

• Encourage full engagement - As I said above, when someone lets me know they are going to a different church, I challenge them to fully engage in the local church God is leading them to. No follower of Jesus can function the way God wants if they’re not engaged in the local body of Christ.

• It’s ok to grieve - Even if handled well, it’s hard to see people you love leave your local body. Yes, you can still maintain close and meaningful friendships with them, but your kids won’t be in youth group together, and you won’t be seeing each other every Tuesday for community group—and that’s sad. It’s ok to be sad. Jesus knows exactly what it feels like to be “left”, and He can offer you perfect comfort in grief; so can the community you still have. Take time to process grief about those who have left, so that you can continue to maintain an open heart and love people fully.

Whether people are coming or going, it’s hard to take the time and energy to shepherd well—but it’s worth it. And one day, all those in Christ will be fully unified in His presence. I long for that day. Until then, let’s continue to love God, love people, and make disciples, together!

Conor O’Hearn
Senior Pastor
North Way Bible Church